200 hour RYT teacher training. I'm over the halfway mark. There is a lot of reading and self study involved in this journey. I read the Yoga Sutras first then "How Yoga Works" by Gesne Michael Roach. I started my readings three months before the training began. I started my inward angst during those same three months. Between Patanjali, the yoga sutras and "how yoga works" i was filled with so much sorrow and remorse for my past and how i had live my life, i fell into a deep sadness. I re- imagined how i could have lived my life and made better choices based on the knowledge and tools i was learning. That was so painful when i looked back on decisions i had made and so many poor outcomes that happened. Then I read Louise Hay, "You Can Heal Your Life".
Louise Hay has been around for a long time writing multiple self-help books. I don't do self help books, i thought. But, one of the things she asks in this book is that you look into a mirror and say to yourself- yes you! "I love You and i am worthy of love". Hey, no problem! I can do this! But, I couldn't. I looked into that mirror and struggled with why i could not say that to myself without crying. How on earth could i love so many people in my life and not myself? I realized I needed to keep coming back to the mirror and telling myself "I love You" .
Now I can look at myself, my imperfect beautiful self and love her. Wow, thanks Louise! Thanks for asking me to take that step.