We all truly like the feeling of being in control. Whoever holds the remote control, chooses the show on tv! Always seems to be worth the fight with your siblings or significant other to get what you want to watch (the other shows are so boring!)! For most of us, this is how we like to run our life. We fight to have complete control over all events and people we interact with, so that they happen or behave in a way that makes us happy or feel safe. We wrestle with these things, trying to make them be and act how we think they should. of course, an obvious problem exists with this strategy - we all have different needs and objectives. so, who gets to decide on how people and situations in life present themselves? Who gets to hold the remote and choose the channel? You do, but it only works on you. But you have complete control. Any changes you want to make, are all within your power and ability to do so! We cannot control anything outside ourselves really. We can try and occasionally have some success, but its not any permanent change. However, focusing that control on yourself is life changing! As you move to change the things within yourself that you don't like seeing in others, doesn't just heal you.
your example becomes a path for others struggling with the same feelings or bad habits. You know that expression "when life hands you lemons make lemonade"? It's taking the negative experiences and people in your life and rethinking how you perceive and respond (not react)to them. Maybe there are situations where you are better served just distancing yourself, not having to be drawn into something unhealthy for you. Hit the remote control to boundaries! Maybe what the other person is saying to you that feels hurtful and unfair is really about them and their own actions? or, maybe your reaction to another persons point of view is about a negative experience you are holding on to.
Take your control and let yourself observe the situation and try to see it for what it is. Sometimes feelings and reactions to situations are just hangovers and attachments from the past that are not healed in all of us. Compassion and understanding for ourselves and others goes a long way toward seeing what is the underlying reason and force behind our own feelings as well as anothers'. Give yourself every ounce of compassion in your heart and let love sweep through your body and clean out the past. You have the remote in your hands, use it. you have more potential in this world than you could ever imagine.
"our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. it is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." (Nelson Mandela)