My little guy was around 3 when there were the first signs of trouble. I chalked it up to his daycare He used to come home with unexplained bruises and bite marks. The teachers told me he was aggressive, and I worried that he was learning from other kids. We switched daycares. The new one was more expensive, but it was supposed to be one of the best. He had trouble transitioning. He was aggressive compared to the other kids. And, certain triggers would set him off... loud noises, too many people. We were very fortunate to have a teacher who was willing and qualified to work with us. We came up with strategies: stress ball during circle time, hugs from the teacher, more pleasing sounds. And, he improved drastically But, the school also suggested two things: counseling and being evaluated by the school system to see if he qualified for special programs.
The counseling was a bust. The counselor would talk to him one on one but never told us what she did or what she was trying to accomplish. We were never left with follow up actions to reinforce or even a game plan in general. After a few sessions like this, I decided that this was not the relationship he needed. I researched the best programs, and the best program is at the local University Hospital. We inquired about evaluations for him. Their waiting list is months long. Even getting on the waiting list is challenging. After having his primary care physician call, we were able to make the list.
Concurrently, we had him evaluated by the school system. They evaluated him and said he had "social issues". That meant two things: he qualified for a 1/2 day program within the local school system, and he would have to change daycares. The daycare he attended was not in the district. For him to receive busing to and from daycare, it had to be located in the school system.
The first new daycare was awful. We explained the situation to them, and they said they were qualified to handle it. But 6 weeks (and 4 different teachers later), we moved again. High turnover is a sign of real problems at a daycare. These teachers were not qualified nor willing to help.
We moved to a national chain. Once again, we explained the situation. And, it has been a positive experience.
He enjoyed the school's program. But, he is going in to kindergarten shortly, so we pushed to have him continue receiving special treatment. He will be in a mainstream classroom, but with resource support. He will not attend the elementary school that he would naturally attend because we deemed a different school has better support for his needs. I am happy to have him in this program and look forward to what the year brings.
Frenzied Femme is a workaholic mother of 3. She has reluctantly conceded membership in middle age, however is not yet a member of AARP. In her spare time, she feebly tries to maintain the house.