Every day Life
I know that we have not yet transitioned from Halloween to November and the month of gratitude, but I'm finding myself thinking about the wonderful friendships I have in my life and how grateful I am for these beautiful souls. I have been so hard on myself lately with harsh introspection and judgement. It's left me one sided and viewing myself with such disdain that it has stunted my ability to move forward and free myself from my past. The opening to forgiveness for me comes from thinking about my close friends and the unconditional love I am offered. To be honest, I don't really understand why they love me like they do sometimes, but I want to embrace it and hold on to that love. I love my friends fiercely, with protection, compassion and an open heart. I know they love me the same way, but I struggle with why they love me. I have also seen and felt how they have struggled with the same self doubts. So, what's up with this?? Why should I doubt that I am loved? Why should my friends feel the same? How can we not see the beauty in ourselves that we see in each other? What makes us think we are not lovable when we have friends that love us so deeply they would do anything for us? I can only see the perfect and the potential in my friends, I have to know that's what they see in me too. I am so grateful for the friends that have come into my life and in ways I never expected. We have experienced plenty of happiness, lots of sadness and suffering, and true unconditional love, wow. I'm so grateful. This is where I just need to allow myself to be loved by these kind and loving people and know, yes I am kind and loving too.